How to Brief Your Wedding DJ: Songs, Do-Not-Play Lists & More
A great wedding DJ does two things: keeps the dance floor full and avoids the songs that empty it. The difference between a wedding where everyone dances and one where everyone leaves early often comes down to one thing — how well the couple briefed the DJ in advance.
Below is the complete brief, including the lists everyone gets wrong.
The five things every DJ brief should contain
- Special moment songs — ceremony processional, first dance, parent dances, cake cutting, last dance.
- Must-play list — songs you want guaranteed at some point.
- Do-not-play list — songs and genres to avoid (and any guests who shouldn't get requests).
- Genre preferences — what should fill the dance floor between your must-plays.
- Logistics — when announcements happen, what gear the DJ provides, microphones for toasts.
Special moment songs (always include exact versions)
| Moment | Common timing |
|---|---|
| Ceremony processional | Wedding party walks in |
| Bride / partner entrance | The walk down the aisle |
| Recessional | Couple walks out after the ceremony |
| Cocktail hour playlist | Background music between ceremony and reception |
| Grand entrance | Couple enters the reception |
| First dance | Right after grand entrance |
| Parent dance 1 (often "father / daughter") | After first dance or after dinner |
| Parent dance 2 (often "mother / son") | Paired with the first parent dance |
| Cake cutting | 15–30 seconds, often a fun song |
| Open dancing kickoff | A guaranteed dance-floor filler |
| Last dance | One quiet song to close the night |
| Send-off (if doing) | Played as guests line up outside |
For each, include the exact artist and version — there are five versions of "At Last," only one is Etta James.
Must-play list: rules
- Keep it to 15–25 songs. More than that and the DJ has no room to read the room.
- Mix genres and tempos. A "must-play" list of 20 slow songs creates a boring reception.
- Note songs that are emotionally important (e.g., "Mom's favorite — please play sometime during dinner").
- For any song that's a surprise gift to someone (e.g., a parent), flag it so the DJ knows to announce it.
Do-not-play list: be specific
This is where most weddings under-brief. The DJ will respect anything you say, but they need to hear it. Common "absolutely not" requests:
- Songs by ex-partners' favorite artists (only you know which)
- Songs from a parent's funeral or other sensitive event
- Genres you don't dance to (e.g., "no country" or "no early 2000s pop punk")
- Cliché wedding songs you've decided against — typically the Macarena, Cha Cha Slide, YMCA, Cotton Eye Joe, Chicken Dance
- Explicit-version songs (most DJs default to clean versions but it's worth confirming)
A typical do-not-play list is 5–15 songs.
Genre preferences: how to actually tell the DJ what to play
"We like everything" is the answer DJs hate. Instead, give percentages or descriptions like:
- 40% modern hits (Top 40 from the last 10 years)
- 30% 80s and 90s classics
- 15% R&B and hip-hop
- 10% disco / funk
- 5% surprise me
Or describe the vibe: "high-energy, fun, lots of singalongs, no slow songs after dinner."
Guest requests: decide in advance
You have four options:
- No requests. DJ plays only your brief. Best when you have strong opinions.
- Requests welcome, DJ filters. Most common — DJ honors requests that fit the room, ignores ones that don't.
- Requests welcome, all played. Risky — one guest with bad taste can clear the dance floor.
- Requests via wedding website only. Guests submit suggestions before the wedding, you and the DJ review.
Logistics to confirm
- What time the DJ arrives and how long setup takes
- Microphones needed (handheld for toasts, lapel for the officiant)
- Who makes announcements (couple's entrance, dinner, dancing, last dance)
- Backup gear policy
- Power requirements at the venue
- End time and overtime rate if the reception runs late
Our wraps all of this into a one-page brief you can send your DJ, with sections for must-plays, do-not-plays, all 11 special moments, and genre sliders.
Frequently asked questions
How many songs should I include on my must-play list?
15–25 is the sweet spot. Fewer and the reception won't feel personal; more and the DJ has no room to read the room and play what works.
What songs should be on a do-not-play list?
Anything with painful associations (ex-partner's favorite, a song from a difficult memory), genres you don't enjoy, and any of the wedding cliches you've decided against — Cha Cha Slide, YMCA, Chicken Dance, etc. Be specific.
Should I let guests request songs?
Most DJs prefer "requests welcome, DJ filters" — they take requests but ignore anything that would clear the floor. If you want full control, tell the DJ no requests. If you want guest involvement, collect requests via your wedding website in advance.
How much should I tip a wedding DJ?
$50–150 is customary in the U.S. for a DJ who delivered a good night. Owners are tipped less often than employees. See our full <a href="/blog/how-much-to-tip-wedding-vendors.html">wedding vendor tipping guide</a> for context.
When should I send the DJ brief?
At least four weeks before the wedding. Many DJs schedule a 30–60 minute call to walk through the brief — take the call. It catches misunderstandings before they matter.